Admittedly, the stuff I write can tend to be a little dark... here is something a little lighter for the holidays... hope you enjoy...
Listen as you read along:
Wanna-be Rock Star
They always seem to have something to say to me
About how I’m lacking responsibility
My hairs too long, and I dress bad
And they say that my attitude makes them sad
I’ve tried everything to appease
But there’s always something else that’s wrong with me
A bum, a slob, a vagrant lot
But I’ve given them to date everything I’ve got
Still the choice I make
Is to ask to be forgiven
And when I feel that I might break
You give me the strength to keep right on livin’
It always seem to come around to you
You pick me up and brush me off no matter what it is I’ve gotten into
It’s always nice to know that someone loves you for who you are
And it’s always nice to know that someone loves a silly wanna-be rock star
They always seem to have some sort of plan for me
About how I can reclaim my dignity
I may be slow but I am telling you
There’s about a million other things I would rather do
I’ve tried everything to fit in
But they always end up in my face again
A loser, a child, not status quo
Cuz I wouldn’t take the leading part in their show
Still the choice I make
Is to ask to be forgiven
And when I feel that I might break
You give me the strength to keep right on livin’
It always seem to come around to you
You pick me up and brush me off no matter what it is I’ve gotten into
It’s always nice to know that someone loves you for who you are
And it’s always nice to know that someone loves a silly wanna-be rock star
Broken
Finished a rough draft of Broken and put it to a slide show video... for those of you who are Broken just like me...
Broken
Is it my fate to end up here?
Trapped in a fortress of my fears
A place of nightmares not of dreams
An endless cycle so it seems
Lost inside the dark, the cold
Stunned to find myself alone
Within the noise I thought was gone
Look for myself and now I’m found
Broken
Heart in one hand, life in the other
Hard to understand if I should even bother
Or leave the pieces where they lay
To be trampled as they may
Or once again be swept away
Broken
My world has been turned upside down
And left in pieces on the ground
Cliché or not that’s what it is
Another sorrow for the list
I’m staggered by the root thereof
And anxious to reclaim my love
The passing time that sets me free
Will by no means cause me not to be
Broken
Heart in one hand, life in the other
Hard to understand if I should even bother
Or leave the pieces where they lay
To be trampled as they may
Or once again be swept away
Broken
Lord I know you’re big enough
To heal the hurt, rebuild the trust
Within that faith I do believe
But frankly I could use relief
The fault is almost always mine
But it doesn’t feel that way this time
So I’m left begging You to start
Putting back together a heart
Broken
Heart in Your hand, life in the other
Hard to understand if I am worth the bother
Will You leave the pieces where they lay
Let them be trampled as they may,
Or allow me to be swept away
Broken?
Heart in one hand, life in the other
Hard to understand if I should even bother
Or leave the pieces where they lay
To be trampled as they may
Or once again be swept away
Broken
Broken
Is it my fate to end up here?
Trapped in a fortress of my fears
A place of nightmares not of dreams
An endless cycle so it seems
Lost inside the dark, the cold
Stunned to find myself alone
Within the noise I thought was gone
Look for myself and now I’m found
Broken
Heart in one hand, life in the other
Hard to understand if I should even bother
Or leave the pieces where they lay
To be trampled as they may
Or once again be swept away
Broken
My world has been turned upside down
And left in pieces on the ground
Cliché or not that’s what it is
Another sorrow for the list
I’m staggered by the root thereof
And anxious to reclaim my love
The passing time that sets me free
Will by no means cause me not to be
Broken
Heart in one hand, life in the other
Hard to understand if I should even bother
Or leave the pieces where they lay
To be trampled as they may
Or once again be swept away
Broken
Lord I know you’re big enough
To heal the hurt, rebuild the trust
Within that faith I do believe
But frankly I could use relief
The fault is almost always mine
But it doesn’t feel that way this time
So I’m left begging You to start
Putting back together a heart
Broken
Heart in Your hand, life in the other
Hard to understand if I am worth the bother
Will You leave the pieces where they lay
Let them be trampled as they may,
Or allow me to be swept away
Broken?
Heart in one hand, life in the other
Hard to understand if I should even bother
Or leave the pieces where they lay
To be trampled as they may
Or once again be swept away
Broken
The Sad In the Man
As I experience my son's childhood, I am reminded of my own, and specific moments that have never left me. He is the catalyst for so much of what I have faced and continue to face within myself...
I dedicate this to all of those fathers who have made it their mission in life to break the cycle and leave a legacy of love and strength to their children, and many generations to come... in spite of the battle that rages inside...
The Sad In the Man
He can understand
The outstretched hands
Of the child who wants to play
For there’s something blue
About a balloon
Drifting far, far away
Thru clouded eyes
He can empathize
With why the child laments
For when said and done
He’s the one
That released it without intent
And he wonders why he has days like these
When it’s clear that others don’t
Or why he’s prone to melancholy
Finding sorrow where others won’t
He’d like to be bold, the source of fun
The man everyone enjoys
But truth be told when said and done
The sad in the man is the boy
He’ll feel the ache
For pity’s sake
Of a child who yearns for flight
For it’s a maudlin thing
The broken wing
Of a useless, earth-bound kite
He can surely share
The worried care
In a child’s attempts to mend
For it was he
On misplaced knee
That caused the canvas mount to rend
And he wonders why he dwells on such
While the world moves blissfully on
Or why he contemplates too much
The darkest moments before the dawn
Now feeling old, he finds he’s one
Who lacks for mirth’s employ
And truth be told when said and done
The sad in the man is the boy
Yearning for and who can wrap
Their arms around his inner child
One day he’ll climb in his Father’s lap
And trade his tears in for a smile
As time unfolds, the race is run
Where there’s still a hope for joy
For truth be told when said and done
The sad in the man is the boy
I dedicate this to all of those fathers who have made it their mission in life to break the cycle and leave a legacy of love and strength to their children, and many generations to come... in spite of the battle that rages inside...
The Sad In the Man
He can understand
The outstretched hands
Of the child who wants to play
For there’s something blue
About a balloon
Drifting far, far away
Thru clouded eyes
He can empathize
With why the child laments
For when said and done
He’s the one
That released it without intent
And he wonders why he has days like these
When it’s clear that others don’t
Or why he’s prone to melancholy
Finding sorrow where others won’t
He’d like to be bold, the source of fun
The man everyone enjoys
But truth be told when said and done
The sad in the man is the boy
He’ll feel the ache
For pity’s sake
Of a child who yearns for flight
For it’s a maudlin thing
The broken wing
Of a useless, earth-bound kite
He can surely share
The worried care
In a child’s attempts to mend
For it was he
On misplaced knee
That caused the canvas mount to rend
And he wonders why he dwells on such
While the world moves blissfully on
Or why he contemplates too much
The darkest moments before the dawn
Now feeling old, he finds he’s one
Who lacks for mirth’s employ
And truth be told when said and done
The sad in the man is the boy
Yearning for and who can wrap
Their arms around his inner child
One day he’ll climb in his Father’s lap
And trade his tears in for a smile
As time unfolds, the race is run
Where there’s still a hope for joy
For truth be told when said and done
The sad in the man is the boy
Hell and Back
Here's a new song my writing partner Jeff Falke and I are working on...
Sometimes when we are going through something awful, we tend to think we are the only ones going through it... when often times, those that we love are going through it right along with us...
If you would like to hear the music for this song, just click play:
I haven't recorded the vocals yet, but when I do, I'll get that version up.
Hell and Back
I don’t want to be the reason why
You have to turn your head away and cry
I don’t want to be the one you see
When your heart is filled with misery
I don’t want to be the one you know
When the consequence won’t let you go
Don’t want to keep making you sad
Erasing all the joy and love we’ve had
It’s a time that has come… and it will go
Just to find that our love has only grown
Even though this thing that we’ve been through
Is the hardest thing I’ve had to do
I may have been to hell and back my luv… but so have you
I don’t want to keep on thinking of
The things that make me fear and doubt our love
I don’t want to keep reliving pain
Or waste my time trying to place the blame
I don’t want to be the one to say
The kinds of things that darken up your day
I don’t want to be wearing you out
O’er things there’s nothing we can do about
It’s a time that has come… and it will go
Just to find that our love has only grown
Even though this thing that we’ve been through
Is the hardest thing I’ve had to do
I may have been to hell and back my luv… but so have you
It’s a time that has come we’re watching go
Already finding our love has only grown
Even though this thing that we’ve been through
Is the hardest thing we’ve done, it’s true
We may have been to hell and back my luv… but I love you
We may have been to hell and back my luv… but I still love you
Sometimes when we are going through something awful, we tend to think we are the only ones going through it... when often times, those that we love are going through it right along with us...
If you would like to hear the music for this song, just click play:
I haven't recorded the vocals yet, but when I do, I'll get that version up.
Hell and Back
I don’t want to be the reason why
You have to turn your head away and cry
I don’t want to be the one you see
When your heart is filled with misery
I don’t want to be the one you know
When the consequence won’t let you go
Don’t want to keep making you sad
Erasing all the joy and love we’ve had
It’s a time that has come… and it will go
Just to find that our love has only grown
Even though this thing that we’ve been through
Is the hardest thing I’ve had to do
I may have been to hell and back my luv… but so have you
I don’t want to keep on thinking of
The things that make me fear and doubt our love
I don’t want to keep reliving pain
Or waste my time trying to place the blame
I don’t want to be the one to say
The kinds of things that darken up your day
I don’t want to be wearing you out
O’er things there’s nothing we can do about
It’s a time that has come… and it will go
Just to find that our love has only grown
Even though this thing that we’ve been through
Is the hardest thing I’ve had to do
I may have been to hell and back my luv… but so have you
It’s a time that has come we’re watching go
Already finding our love has only grown
Even though this thing that we’ve been through
Is the hardest thing we’ve done, it’s true
We may have been to hell and back my luv… but I love you
We may have been to hell and back my luv… but I still love you
Heartbreak for Hello
For my Luv and my Father
Heartbreak for Hello
She has a way of giving me a shove
Offering me a warmer place to go
And She gives me love
Even when I’m guilty of
Trading her heartbreak for hello
She won’t stop, she won’t concede
She’s seen a better part of me
She holds on and she holds out
Hoping soon I’ll figure it out
She didn’t claim it would be easy
She never said that we would coast
She would say
That there’d be days
When the wind was going to blow
She vowed to never leave me
A solemn promise to never go
Even when I'd turn away
And coldly trade
Her heartbreak for hello
He has a way of calling from above
Offering undeserved grace, I know
And He gives me love
Even when I’m guilty of
Trading Him heartbreak for hello
He won’t give up, He won’t concede
He’s made the better part of me
He holds on without a doubt
Aware He’s got it all worked out
He didn’t claim it would be easy
He never said that I could coast
He’d provide a way
Amidst the days
The storm winds start to blow
He promised He’d never leave me
And that He would never let me go
Even when I run away
and unfairly trade
Him heartbreak for hello
I have a way of hurting the ones I love
While I take a little too long to grow
Somehow they give me love
Even when I’m guilty of
Trading them heartbreak for hello
Heartbreak for Hello
She has a way of giving me a shove
Offering me a warmer place to go
And She gives me love
Even when I’m guilty of
Trading her heartbreak for hello
She won’t stop, she won’t concede
She’s seen a better part of me
She holds on and she holds out
Hoping soon I’ll figure it out
She didn’t claim it would be easy
She never said that we would coast
She would say
That there’d be days
When the wind was going to blow
She vowed to never leave me
A solemn promise to never go
Even when I'd turn away
And coldly trade
Her heartbreak for hello
He has a way of calling from above
Offering undeserved grace, I know
And He gives me love
Even when I’m guilty of
Trading Him heartbreak for hello
He won’t give up, He won’t concede
He’s made the better part of me
He holds on without a doubt
Aware He’s got it all worked out
He didn’t claim it would be easy
He never said that I could coast
He’d provide a way
Amidst the days
The storm winds start to blow
He promised He’d never leave me
And that He would never let me go
Even when I run away
and unfairly trade
Him heartbreak for hello
I have a way of hurting the ones I love
While I take a little too long to grow
Somehow they give me love
Even when I’m guilty of
Trading them heartbreak for hello
Away
Ok... This is the first song/poem of any substance that I ever wrote... many of you are already familiar with it, but it seemed appropriate to start at the beginning...
I am of course talking about "Away"...
Click Play to listen as you read along:
AWAY
Have you ever wondered, have you ever cried
Have you ever wanted to but instead just sighed
Cast within the shadow, that’s getting hard to take
Gets tougher every day for me to breathe, to sleep, to wake
What if I called upon the wind, Offered my soul from deep within
Would it pick me up and carry me away?
What am I to do when I’m feeling so unsure
When I have the realization that my mother isn’t pure
Who do I turn to, and who will understand
When the father I’m looking at is now a strange man
What if I called upon the sea, offered the life inside of me
Would it sweep me under and wash away the pain?
I believe that I could fly, beyond the earth, the sea, the sky
Away
The past is all too clear, the future yet unknown
When old scars reappear why can’t I let them go
How about all these choices decisions I must make
What are the implications if I make the same mistakes?
What if I called upon the earth, yield my last breath to the dirt
Would it cover me and shelter me from the rain?
I believe that I could fly, beyond the earth, the sea, the sky
Away
I am of course talking about "Away"...
Click Play to listen as you read along:
AWAY
Have you ever wondered, have you ever cried
Have you ever wanted to but instead just sighed
Cast within the shadow, that’s getting hard to take
Gets tougher every day for me to breathe, to sleep, to wake
What if I called upon the wind, Offered my soul from deep within
Would it pick me up and carry me away?
What am I to do when I’m feeling so unsure
When I have the realization that my mother isn’t pure
Who do I turn to, and who will understand
When the father I’m looking at is now a strange man
What if I called upon the sea, offered the life inside of me
Would it sweep me under and wash away the pain?
I believe that I could fly, beyond the earth, the sea, the sky
Away
The past is all too clear, the future yet unknown
When old scars reappear why can’t I let them go
How about all these choices decisions I must make
What are the implications if I make the same mistakes?
What if I called upon the earth, yield my last breath to the dirt
Would it cover me and shelter me from the rain?
I believe that I could fly, beyond the earth, the sea, the sky
Away
The Show
I wrote this shortly after my stint as a worship leader was done. Not trying to be confrontational, or controversial... this is my personal journey and I invite those who care to commiserate to do so... those who don't are certainly welcome to their stance as well... I would never claim to have all the answers... just the feelings...
The Show
There’s a face you show to strangers
There’s a face you show to friends
There’s a face you show while singing until the music finally ends
There’s a face you show for pain, there’s a face you show for joy
There’s a face
That’s set in place
To hide that you’re annoyed
But I never dare
To try and share
The face that You gave me
I guess it’s time
For a face that’s mine
Revealing what You see
If that means that I’m done singing
And it’s time to just let go
That’s alright with me
Cuz Lord, You see
I’m tired of “The Show”
“The Show” has to be just right
It has to run on time
It must be fresh, it must be light, must not step out of line
We must keep people coming, perfection understood
Details consume
And take more room
Than they ever should
But I rarely pause
To consider cause
Or to simply stop and be
I want the chance
To laugh and dance
And feel the joy You bring
If that means that I’m done singing
And it’s time for me to go
It’s alright with me
Cuz Lord, You see
I’m tired of the show
And if it means that I’m done hiding
because you're asking me to grow
It’s ok with me
Cuz You’ve set me free
to live a life without "The Show"
The Show
There’s a face you show to strangers
There’s a face you show to friends
There’s a face you show while singing until the music finally ends
There’s a face you show for pain, there’s a face you show for joy
There’s a face
That’s set in place
To hide that you’re annoyed
But I never dare
To try and share
The face that You gave me
I guess it’s time
For a face that’s mine
Revealing what You see
If that means that I’m done singing
And it’s time to just let go
That’s alright with me
Cuz Lord, You see
I’m tired of “The Show”
“The Show” has to be just right
It has to run on time
It must be fresh, it must be light, must not step out of line
We must keep people coming, perfection understood
Details consume
And take more room
Than they ever should
But I rarely pause
To consider cause
Or to simply stop and be
I want the chance
To laugh and dance
And feel the joy You bring
If that means that I’m done singing
And it’s time for me to go
It’s alright with me
Cuz Lord, You see
I’m tired of the show
And if it means that I’m done hiding
because you're asking me to grow
It’s ok with me
Cuz You’ve set me free
to live a life without "The Show"
Ivy
Here is a special tribute to my good friend Rick Melvin who more than inspired the original version of this song, he lived it. It is a song that has done well for me in years past, and I post it here for those who have never heard it and would like to, and for those who have heard it and wish to enjoy it again. The performance was on a TV show called "Celebrate".
Ivy
Melvin sits in his ivory tower
Looking at the world below
He sits there staring hour by hour
Counting the rings to his soul
The interlocking granite keeps his Eden safe and sound
Cold and grey the wall she made left no doorway to be found
With time love grew on him and shades him from the sun
It wrapped itself around him closer than the wind does
It finds away around is walls until they’d come undone
Love covered him in precious life where beauty never was
Like Ivy
Melvin sits in his ivory tower
In a castle made of stone
He contemplates there hour by hour
His decision to be alone
The interlocking granite keeps his Eden safe and sound
Cold and grey the wall she made left no doorway to be found
With time love grew on him and shades him from the sun
It wrapped itself around him closer than the wind does
It finds away around is walls until they’d come undone
Love covered him in precious life where beauty never was
Like Ivy
Ivy
Melvin sits in his ivory tower
Looking at the world below
He sits there staring hour by hour
Counting the rings to his soul
The interlocking granite keeps his Eden safe and sound
Cold and grey the wall she made left no doorway to be found
With time love grew on him and shades him from the sun
It wrapped itself around him closer than the wind does
It finds away around is walls until they’d come undone
Love covered him in precious life where beauty never was
Like Ivy
Melvin sits in his ivory tower
In a castle made of stone
He contemplates there hour by hour
His decision to be alone
The interlocking granite keeps his Eden safe and sound
Cold and grey the wall she made left no doorway to be found
With time love grew on him and shades him from the sun
It wrapped itself around him closer than the wind does
It finds away around is walls until they’d come undone
Love covered him in precious life where beauty never was
Like Ivy
Remember?
It's nice to know that no matter how I feel it doesn't change one simple fact... my Father loves me and He has not left me...
Remember?
Some gifts are fought for
Some gifts are free
Do you remember the day you fell down to your knees?
To cry, to pray
To receive the gift of Grace and then to turn another way?
I just wondered
Because I know that I forget
Before I know it I’ve returned to a path I should’ve left
I haven’t felt Him in so long;
I’m surprised how long it’s been
And I’m left to wonder if I’ll ever feel that way again
Is He there or is He gone?
Are you weary from the struggle without the strength for holding on?
Is it hard to hear over the noise?
If you were to listen carefully would you even hear a voice
That you remember?
Some gifts are loved
Some gifts are lost
Do you remember the last time you thought about the cost?
The price once paid
All to welcome home a child that once had run away?
I just wondered
Because I know that I forget
Before I know it I’ve returned to a path I should’ve left
I haven’t felt Him in so long;
I’m surprised how long it’s been
And I’m left to wonder if I’ll ever feel that way again
He’s still there, He’s not gone
He’s been waiting all your life for you to just stop holding on
Now let go, and make that choice
Cuz if you listen very carefully you just might hear a voice
That you remember
Remember?
Some gifts are fought for
Some gifts are free
Do you remember the day you fell down to your knees?
To cry, to pray
To receive the gift of Grace and then to turn another way?
I just wondered
Because I know that I forget
Before I know it I’ve returned to a path I should’ve left
I haven’t felt Him in so long;
I’m surprised how long it’s been
And I’m left to wonder if I’ll ever feel that way again
Is He there or is He gone?
Are you weary from the struggle without the strength for holding on?
Is it hard to hear over the noise?
If you were to listen carefully would you even hear a voice
That you remember?
Some gifts are loved
Some gifts are lost
Do you remember the last time you thought about the cost?
The price once paid
All to welcome home a child that once had run away?
I just wondered
Because I know that I forget
Before I know it I’ve returned to a path I should’ve left
I haven’t felt Him in so long;
I’m surprised how long it’s been
And I’m left to wonder if I’ll ever feel that way again
He’s still there, He’s not gone
He’s been waiting all your life for you to just stop holding on
Now let go, and make that choice
Cuz if you listen very carefully you just might hear a voice
That you remember
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